Breaking the chains, I feel free- at last.
Hi all.
So the passed few days have been an emotional and spiritual roller-coaster. A lot of the interweb knows, but if you don't already- I'm quitting A-levels and taking up an apprenticeship. So, to fill you in, let me wind back a few days.
The day is Thursday, I am in college doing a maths lesson and I'm sitting there and thinking over and over "why did I pick maths" I hate maths, I honestly do. I have great respect for anyone who is maths/science oriented. It's just not for me.
Then throughout the lesson I was reflecting how much I am hating my A-levels. Well... I was initially doing Maths, Further Maths, Chemistry and Physics. I guess my break for freedom was in 2 steps. The first was when I dropped further maths and chemistry for Geography and Politics. Those 2 subjects are fantastic- love 'em. Maths and Physics, urgh....
So that day I went home, and I can't really explain but it was like a switch been flicked in my head. See, my parents so I was a small child, have been pushing me into engineering. Engineering, engineering ENGINEERING!!! That's all I ever heard. It was like my world was lit up and I can now see everything so much more clearly.
So it's now Saturday evening, I'm on my laptop browsing my options. Suddenly I see an advert for an apprenticeship- on impulse I clicked it, wrote my CV and applied. Crap, what did I just do?
Now the CV I wrote was awful, it did not put me in my best light, my cover letter was, I think 2 paragraphs. It was not good, not good at all...
So then I thought, "Well, I just fluffed that up" and then I made my cup of tea and determinedly sat down. I wrote, I gave my keyboard hell. I wrote and wrote and wrote until I got my perfect CV and my perfect cover letter. Then hell, I applied to every apprenticeship I could find, from dog groomer to dentist. From army to admin.
It felt good, empowering. I felt happy, for the first time in a long time.
I then, exhausted, starry eyed and droopily, went to bed.
_________________________________________________________________________________
It's now Friday, 10 am. I am at a low, I am meant for so much, and yet I'm just sitting doing an assignment for a subject I hate, at home, waiting to go to the doctor (nothing serious). I mean for gods sake- I'm a RavenCroft! Surely there's more to life than this.
Anyway, I get a phone call, a lady on the phone telling me my application was really good and that she wanted to interview me for the apprenticeship. She basically said, it's mine- the interview was/is just a formality. Of all the offers I got, I'm definitely going with this one, woah I'm getting ahead of myself!
Of course I said yes, I said I would do the interview that day! I was literally shaking, it went from me just applying from the hell of it, to reality slapping me in the face. Grabbing me and throwing me to a wall saying - "Wake up, grab this!". I was literally shaking, I remember just walking around the house repeating out loud that this was happening.
Then the calls kept coming, I mean really. My phone was ringing pretty much every 15 minutes.
So, I went to the interview yesterday, it was the first call I got, and it went really well. I got two offers, so one interview for each of them and I'm in!
I chose to got with them because those apprenticeships were the only ones offered that pay high enough for me to move out, and if you know anything about apprenticeships- that's pretty rare.
Oh yeah, and these dream apprenticeships, guess which ones they were? The first ones I applied for!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Do I know what I want to do with my life long term? No, of course not. Is that okay? Yes! It is!
The most cliche line in film- "It's not so much about the destination as it is about the journey" I am beginning to understand this. I mean it's weird isn't it? Pretty much everyone has heard that line, either in the works of Dickens, Pirates of the Caribbean etc. One way or another, everyone has heard of it. But now I am beginning to truly understand what that means.
Who cares, where you're going, it's what you do on the way that counts!
I am now living by a new philosophy- Carpe Diem! Seize The Moment- Every time!
For my entire childhood my parents told me what to do, what to be etc. For too long did I let EVERYONE around me force me to be like my twin (I have a twin), define me.
If you take anything from this, take this dear reader. Do what you want, chase your dreams, and don't let others tell you what to be.
You only understand what it truly means to be defined, after everyone around you has tried to define you and you have broken free.
Thank you for reading Dear Readers of mine.
Yours,
Lucius RavenCroft.
So the passed few days have been an emotional and spiritual roller-coaster. A lot of the interweb knows, but if you don't already- I'm quitting A-levels and taking up an apprenticeship. So, to fill you in, let me wind back a few days.
The day is Thursday, I am in college doing a maths lesson and I'm sitting there and thinking over and over "why did I pick maths" I hate maths, I honestly do. I have great respect for anyone who is maths/science oriented. It's just not for me.
Then throughout the lesson I was reflecting how much I am hating my A-levels. Well... I was initially doing Maths, Further Maths, Chemistry and Physics. I guess my break for freedom was in 2 steps. The first was when I dropped further maths and chemistry for Geography and Politics. Those 2 subjects are fantastic- love 'em. Maths and Physics, urgh....
So that day I went home, and I can't really explain but it was like a switch been flicked in my head. See, my parents so I was a small child, have been pushing me into engineering. Engineering, engineering ENGINEERING!!! That's all I ever heard. It was like my world was lit up and I can now see everything so much more clearly.
So it's now Saturday evening, I'm on my laptop browsing my options. Suddenly I see an advert for an apprenticeship- on impulse I clicked it, wrote my CV and applied. Crap, what did I just do?
Now the CV I wrote was awful, it did not put me in my best light, my cover letter was, I think 2 paragraphs. It was not good, not good at all...
So then I thought, "Well, I just fluffed that up" and then I made my cup of tea and determinedly sat down. I wrote, I gave my keyboard hell. I wrote and wrote and wrote until I got my perfect CV and my perfect cover letter. Then hell, I applied to every apprenticeship I could find, from dog groomer to dentist. From army to admin.
It felt good, empowering. I felt happy, for the first time in a long time.
I then, exhausted, starry eyed and droopily, went to bed.
_________________________________________________________________________________
It's now Friday, 10 am. I am at a low, I am meant for so much, and yet I'm just sitting doing an assignment for a subject I hate, at home, waiting to go to the doctor (nothing serious). I mean for gods sake- I'm a RavenCroft! Surely there's more to life than this.
Anyway, I get a phone call, a lady on the phone telling me my application was really good and that she wanted to interview me for the apprenticeship. She basically said, it's mine- the interview was/is just a formality. Of all the offers I got, I'm definitely going with this one, woah I'm getting ahead of myself!
Of course I said yes, I said I would do the interview that day! I was literally shaking, it went from me just applying from the hell of it, to reality slapping me in the face. Grabbing me and throwing me to a wall saying - "Wake up, grab this!". I was literally shaking, I remember just walking around the house repeating out loud that this was happening.
Then the calls kept coming, I mean really. My phone was ringing pretty much every 15 minutes.
So, I went to the interview yesterday, it was the first call I got, and it went really well. I got two offers, so one interview for each of them and I'm in!
I chose to got with them because those apprenticeships were the only ones offered that pay high enough for me to move out, and if you know anything about apprenticeships- that's pretty rare.
Oh yeah, and these dream apprenticeships, guess which ones they were? The first ones I applied for!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Do I know what I want to do with my life long term? No, of course not. Is that okay? Yes! It is!
The most cliche line in film- "It's not so much about the destination as it is about the journey" I am beginning to understand this. I mean it's weird isn't it? Pretty much everyone has heard that line, either in the works of Dickens, Pirates of the Caribbean etc. One way or another, everyone has heard of it. But now I am beginning to truly understand what that means.
Who cares, where you're going, it's what you do on the way that counts!
I am now living by a new philosophy- Carpe Diem! Seize The Moment- Every time!
For my entire childhood my parents told me what to do, what to be etc. For too long did I let EVERYONE around me force me to be like my twin (I have a twin), define me.
If you take anything from this, take this dear reader. Do what you want, chase your dreams, and don't let others tell you what to be.
You only understand what it truly means to be defined, after everyone around you has tried to define you and you have broken free.
Thank you for reading Dear Readers of mine.
Yours,
Lucius RavenCroft.
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